Can It Be All So Simple
Let’s not complicate things. Oh but we are so good at that, aren’t we? Just look at what our culture deems as important. Possessions over experiences. Money over time. Sex over love. We love to complicate things; so much so that a show about getting rid of excess and living more simply became a blockbuster success overnight. Marie Kondo is the modern day Mother Theresa, all because we don’t know how to uncomplicate our lives.
I think Ghostface explained it best in Can It Be All So Simple:
“Settling for lesser,
the god left lessons on my dresser,
so I can bloom and blossom,
find a new way…”
For Ghostface, more was the dream and the streets was his only option in getting it. But in living that life, he realized it only made things more complicated for him.
Sure that makes sense when speaking in context of the streets, but in general who in their right mind would settle for less? More is always better. This is an attitude that is grown in each of us as children. As I grew older, more fun turned into more money until I finally just got to the point where I just wished I had more time. No matter where we’re from, what our background is; it seems we all fall into this cycle of this existence.
Fortunately for me, the economic crash of 2008 happened. Within a week’s time, I went from a kid who wanted for nothing to a kid wondering how his family lost everything so quickly.
Now I want to caveat, there were and still are other people in far worse predicements than I was in. I don’t want to diminish anyone’s experience but oftentimes the truth is beyond our human experience. During this time in my life, we lost our home, my parents had to work more than ever to stay above water, I didn’t have the luxuries that my childhood friends had, but I didn’t lose everything. In fact, I had everything that mattered.
I had two parents who, for all their faults and failures, loved me dearly. I had my mother’s compassion, wisdom, and strength guiding me through the most formidable years of my life. I had my fathers toughness, relentless discipline, and superb advice as direction for how to be a good man. Ironically that advice was; “be more like your mother”.
As I grew older and moved out of their house and on with my life, I lost sight of these lessons and sacrifices. Why? Well to complicate things, of course.
I complicated my finances for the foreseeable future by going to a school I couldn’t really afford. But hey, flexing and partying was fun while it lasted. Instead of opening myself up to challenges and new experiences, I took the same old, complicated path. Sure it felt like the right thing to do; college is designed to, after all. But I promise you, the current system only complicates things more. Had I learned more about myself during that time rather than learning about what the world valued, perhaps I would feel differently about college.
Now I am in the midst of the next chapter of my life. Things tend to get really complicated at this point. Finding the right career, investing your money, buying a home, finding your life partner, starting a family, planning and building for their future, counseling, moving to the job that’s really right for you, buying that car you’ve always wanted, spending more time with the car than with your family, parenting a teenager, divorce court, restarting in a new apartment, alimony payments, missing big moments, feeling utterly defeated. Or as society calls it, the American dream.
I’m living that dream right now, as are many of you reading this. I have a great career, money in the bank (although that’s probably not a good thing), and a promising future. So why am I unhappy?
Where did it all go wrong? What’s missing?
Living right now.
Despite all the promise of an idealistic future we all should be working for, that won’t make us happy. Fulfillment cannot be found in the future. It’s not left in the good ole’ days either. Joy can only be attained right now, and it doesn’t cost anything. It’s not dressed in designer clothes nor is it begging for likes and clout. It’s just waiting here for each of us. Simple.
Our wants have us living in the future. Our regrets keep us in the past. But what are we doing right now? After all, now is the only thing that matters. Don’t overcomplicate it. It really can all be so simple.
