Distractions

Distractions are a detriment to productivity and should be cut out at all costs.

I used to believe this wholeheartedly. I even wrote it in my notebook a few years ago, fully believing that thought captured the whole truth. Now I’m sitting on the other side of things. Distractions have become a sort of sanctuary for me. A welcomed friend. So what changed?

Well to answer that, I suppose I should explain who I was in 2019. I was living in New York and proud of it. I still am but not for the same reasons. A common New York stereotype is being busy. Living there, I strived to fit that mold. To say yes to every opportunity, to go after things I “wanted”, and eventually reach a point where people could look at me as a quintessential New Yorker. My genuine thought was that being a workaholic would eventually pay off for me in the future.

At the time, I was picking up any project that was offered to me. Over stretched and under efficient. I idolized being busy and that’s exactly what I was. But for what? If you asked me then; “why are you doing all this?”, I’m not sure I could’ve answered it. In fact, I might have been offended by the question. After all, I had ambitions and general goals that I was tracking towards. All I needed to do was keep my head down, work hard, and everything would turn out my way.

Fast forward to 2020. February 2020, to be exact. In what felt like an instant, the greatest city on earth shut down. Before I knew it, my hard work met a harsh reality. The comedy residency I worked so hard to obtain was paused indefinitely. My creative projects nearly ceased entirely. My 9–5 shut down operations for several weeks; at least that was a bit of good news. The pandemic halted everything I was working at. Weeks passed, then months. Soon entire seasons began and ended while I sat and waited.

Towards the beginning of lockdown, I decided to use the resources that were still available to me. I still had my notebook and a stable internet connection; surely those can keep me busy. And they did. I made memes, did zoom open mics, coordinated activities for my friends and family to get involved in. I also wrote a lot.

Looking back on some of the things I wrote in the spring of 2020, one in particular stands out to me.

“Inaction is a symptom of self destruction; strangling its victims with a paralyzing grip, leaving them stagnant for years.”

Deep bro…

I read excerpt now and I can’t help but roll my eyes. I spent over a hundred days in my apartment but with a statement like that, you’d think I was imprisoned in a cold, stone cell off the island of Cypress for over a decade. I wasn’t inactive by any means. I went outside, rode my bike around an empty New York City, and saw friends and family regularly on Facetime. In other words, I was seriously overacting.

As the year wore on, Covid didn’t go away but life moved on. My birthday passed, then Christmas, spring came and went, summer returned. I wasn’t as busy as I used to be, but in a lot of ways I was more fulfilled. Questioning why this was the case, I came to an ironic conclusion.

That busyness that I chased so passionately was nothing more than the primary distraction I so desperately wanted to avoid.

I realized I didn’t enjoy a lot of the things I was doing in 2019. In fact, after reflecting on my time in the city before the pandemic, I realized so much of it was spent doing things I didn’t value. Late nights, long hours, packed schedules, networking with people who I haven’t spoken with in years. It’s funny because at the time it didn’t feel like a waste. Actually it felt like the opposite. I felt like I was going somewhere. I couldn’t tell you where but I was going somewhere.

2020 for all its downfalls actually taught me a valuable lesson. It taught me the value of asking myself “why?”. It seems so obvious to me now but believe it or not, for a quarter century of my life, I didn’t really have a why. Sure, I had interests and goals. I even had passions; something we’ve warped in our culture to be the foundation of success. However, I had no principle. No purpose.

Notice the singularity of those words. A why must have a definite nature. Clarity in purpose becomes your north star; guiding your path no matter what interest, goals, or passions you may choose to leverage to get there. Your principle should be the rock you stand on and the nirvana you chase. Said another way, your why should not only underline everything you do but push beyond the boundaries of your finite human experience.

For years I aimlessly operated without a why. Being busy disguised itself as purpose when really it only burned my real purpose out. It only took a global pandemic for me to realize I had it all backwards. Eventually I came to realize that distractions aren’t things that halt growth. In fact, the right distractions helped me find the why behind my life. Without learning this lesson, I’d surely fall into the same traps. There’s no doubt about that. Our culture pushes this narrative of overworking to achieve success. But trust me, true success is already within you. Each of us have a unique purpose for living during this time and I assure you that purpose isn’t to be busy. Simply being is more than enough. So go outside, feel the sun, smell a flower, spend time with the ones you love. Go get distracted, you’ll thank yourself later.