Time
I love listening to vinyls. There are so many intricate details to records; from the album cover, to the needle point hitting the record, to the static that initially goes through the speakers. Over the years I have accrued a pretty decent record collection. I’ve bought some from quaint record shops, thrift stores, and even found some in my friend’s cluttered basement. It took a fair amount of time to build my collection. Years of my life searching and patiently enjoying an array of albums to find the ones I love. As much as I love the music itself bellowing through my cedar speakers, it’s the commitment of time that I love most about records.
Time is such an under appreciated resource today. So often we frivolously trade it for lesser things like money, social status, and cheap highs. Rarely do we take into account our finite existence and how valuable time really is. Our existence on this earth is like a vapor yet we spend our time on our egos, accumulating material things, and focusing on what we don’t have. It’s only when we stop and be present that we begin to realize how much time has passed and how little is left.
“How did it get so late so soon?” — Dr. Seuss
For me, music has been able to help me recognize my own warped view of time. Today, we have apps like Apple Music or Spotify which make it easier than ever to pick and choose songs we like and not “waste time” with what we don’t like. As Troy mentioned in his article How, he is no exception to this. I find it fascinating how our music habits can mirror our real life behaviors. We try to create playlists, including only the positive moments we like and exclude the things we deem as bad. What this results in is jumping from one moment to another just to feel a sense of happiness. At first, this seems logical. Why sit in moments of pain or hardship when you can just switch to the next song?
Of course I am no exception to this. I hate discomfort just like anyone. There are times where I wish I had the ability to just switch to the next moment or go back to a fond memory. Unfortunately, this is where the analogy ends and where bad habits begin. We can’t just jump to the next happy moment or relive the previous, we can only turn to things to distract and numb us. For me, it’s weed. For Troy, it’s video games. For others, it can be an excess of alcohol, drugs, social media, sex, or any number of distractions. Whatever it is that diverts you doesn’t matter as much. What does matter is that which we turn to comes at a great cost. In those moments, we trade our priceless time for things of very little value. As a result of this unnatural exchange, we obtain only dependencies and addictions disguised as momentary bliss.
So what’s the solution? Although I’m far from an expert on this topic as I struggle with it myself, I have discovered a couple things — or gifts really — that have helped me and that I have shared with Troy. First is to recognize and accept the imperfect nature of life. If you acquire an interest in vinyls, you’ll realize there are very few perfect albums out there. Many of the albums in my collection weren’t that good upon first listen. It was only after spending time with them, listening to them in different seasons in my life, that I saw the beauty within each of them. Much like life, an album’s story reveals itself with time. So often we want to skip to the next chapter just because this moment isn’t perfect. It’s only when we realize that no moment; past, present, or future, is perfect that we can sit with the imperfection of our present and truly enjoy it for what it is.
Presence is another gift that has helped me find joy in life. I can’t say it’s easy to do, nor can I tell you it gets easier, however, our purpose is to strive to be here now. When I sit down and listen to a new record, in order to get engulfed by the full experience, I can’t be doing anything else. From the moment I pull the record out of its album to the second the needle hits the vinyl, I’m listening. Technically you see when songs change on the record and can drop the needle on the one you want to listen to, but you’re short changing yourself on the experience the artist wanted you to have. Adele felt so strongly about the experience of the album that she forced Spotify to automatically start an album from its beginning. Unlike an album, we don’t have the choice to pick and choose what moments we have in life. A lot of life just happens to us; as if we hit play and the songs just come on one after another. We can try to fight back, try to relive our past or fast forward to the future; but believe me as someone who has tried, it’s a futile effort. Our only option that doesn’t cause additional stress and anxiety is to be present. To start everyday as if it were the first song on an album designed for you; an album no one in history has ever heard before.
Time is a funny thing. Humans throughout history and today have made it so much more complex than it is by trying to define it. Think of your favorite day of the week and your least favorite day of the week. For us Americans, I would imagine Monday is dreaded and the weekend is revered. Why? In actuality, there isn’t a difference between a Monday and a Friday. There’s no difference between April 3rd and July 19th. Sure, the things we have to do and the seasons may change, but that doesn’t mean our perspective has to. Just because we have to go to work doesn’t mean we should spend our time being miserable. Hardship and obstacles are inevitable and more often than not, out of our control; does that mean we should devalue that time in our life? We can’t skip to the next song and nothing we exchange our time for will be worth it. Like a needle on a record player, we can only play the song one note at a time. Life comes to us and we can only meet it where we are right now; try to value that as much as you can because just like every album I’ve listened to, it will come to an end.
If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please do not hesitate to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1–800–273-TALK (8255). This is a free, 24/7 confidential service that can provide people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress, or those around them, with support, information, and local resources. For more information, call or visit www.suicidepreventionhotline.org.
